Cleanse the heart with the water of love and the detergents of prayer and contrition, so that the stains of desire will be removed. Then God will pour His Grace into it. If you yearn for God, you should give up attachment to the external world and to the body (Loka bhranthi and Deha bhranthi). There is no use trying to put one foot in one boat and another in a different boat. You may have been a spiritual aspirant for 20 or 25 years, but if you worry more about physical needs and comforts than meditation and spiritual progress, then the years of practice is of no value, as there has been no progress. The waving of the camphor flame (aarti) at the end of the prayer or bhajan session is to remind you that your sensual cravings must be burnt away without leaving any trace behind. You must offer yourself completely to God, to be merged in His Glory.